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The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of porn a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake porn all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable bokeh French word for bokep caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, bokep she rolled her eyes and bokep declared the woman an ‘actrice’, porn or porn sex worker.

Now, bokep according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, memek it bokeh all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and crot all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokep you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: crot there’s sex as performance art, bokep and porn sex as genuine bokep intimacy. And memek when a woman is genuinely aroused, crot trusts her partner and crot is not fearing for memek a fragile male ego, bokeh she’s far more likely to gently sigh and bokeh moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokep female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, porn they’d explain, crot so they could make their partner feel happy, porn while conserving their energy for bokep other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and bokep ‘manipulation’, memek and bokeh that bokep women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory memek vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, porn so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokep the greater the chance the orgasm memek is being faked (Stock Image

It was bokep like saying: porn ‘I’m enjoying this, crot but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, crot ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, memek where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland bokep said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: bokep ‘As far as I’m concerned, bokeh that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, bokep only if you memek want to attract bokep a certain kind of attention.

In their book, memek Sex At Dawn, bokep Christopher Ryan and bokep Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert crot nearby males that they were fertile and memek keen memek to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, porn I can understand crot the need to advertise. But if you’re not, memek then men should take heed: memek the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris

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